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At 2:18 a.m. Thursday, I heard the sound from Maya’s room.
It was not a scream.
It was worse because it sounded like she was trying not to make noise at all.
I opened the door and found her curled on her side, arms wrapped around her stomach, hoodie sleeve bitten between her teeth.
The lamp beside her bed made her skin look gray.
Tears had soaked the pillowcase.
“Mom,” she whispered. “Please… make it stop hurting.”
There are moments when a mother stops negotiating with the world.
That was mine.
I sat on the edge of her bed and smoothed the hair from her damp forehead.
Her skin was cool, but her eyes looked fever-bright.
I told her we were going to the doctor the next day.
She shook her head weakly.
“Dad will be mad.”
I remember that more clearly than almost anything.
Not “Will I be okay?”
Not “What’s wrong with me?”